cafii's Xanga

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 15:02:04 GMT

you know what? i can't believe i actually spent time defending you to an extent. i realise now that you are as much the dickhead that i was told you were. its insulting to me when you act so fake that i can smell it from a mile away and expect me to believe that it's the real you. i was always the type of person who thought that everyone was decent to an extent so i extended that gratitude to you. and yes. you WERE different. you were different in the fact that you didn't deserve it. at least other people have the balls to admit their ulterior motives. you just continued to put on a fake pretence even though you didn't need to in the first place; and like i said before, IT'S JUST PLAIN INSULTING. i would have rather you not pretend you cared and shower me with compliments and affection just to get what you want. i'm not some naive schoolgirl who you need to con into believing you care to get what you want. i haven't fallen for your crap, but i'm just frustrated that i actually thought you were decent for even a few days... but no. you're just as bad as your reputation is. and i was wrong. there's no better person to get to know. should have just listened to what he had to say about you.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Sun, 04 Nov 2007 11:44:50 GMT

cathy's 19 facts of life.

don't overthink things. first impressions and intuition will serve you well for the rest of your life.
if you're up at 3am frustrated and confused about why you are feeling something that you shouldn't be, go to sleep and if the feeling REALLY shouldn't be there, it will go away when you wake up.
if there's nothing good to say, it's best to say nothing at all. (usually)
parents are smarter than you think they are. just because they don't say anything doesn't mean they don't know that you are probably making out with that boy/girl that you just left your house with.
in fact, people in general are smarter than you think they are. just because they don't say anything doesn't mean your cryptic messages aren't really cryptic to them at all.
once you start expecting, you set yourself up for disappointment.
boys will always say girls are all difficult. girls will always say boys are frustrating. don't try to convince anyone otherwise because it is not wise to disturb mother nature.
always give, but not impose advice upon people. if they don't listen to your advice, you can always say "i told you so" later on.
never think you know everything there is to know. use the knowledge you already have to make wise decisions, but always keep an open mind and always know when you are wrong.
sometimes one word is all it takes to make someone feel better. usually it's "sorry" or "thankyou".
don't hand out compliments/sentiment like people hand flyers out on a street corner. they will mean A LOT more if you use it sparingly.
always be cynical, not pessimistic.
typing in chinese on your blog constantly isn't a good idea. people will think you have something to hide. which leads on to...
...if you want to hide something, hide it properly. don't break it up into pieces and dress them up in costume then leave them lying around in public.
don't let someones faults cancel out their merits. a good friend is still just as good after a fight as before.
if you've noticed something, chances are someone else has noticed it before you did.
don't let yourself be an open book, but don't lock yourself inside a safe either. make sure it takes at least some effort flip your pages and read some of the contents, but not all. no one finds 100% transparent people interesting.
the concept of friendship is very malleable.
life is full of ups and downs. but if we didn't have downtime, we wouldn't appreciate the good times nearly as much as we should...
...and eventually will take them for granted. never take anything for granted, savour every piece of goodness that life throws your way, but know that there will be more for later.

******

another year gone.

thankyou to everyone who made this day special.

especially the person who took precious study time to keep me company.

lots of [platonic] love,

- cathy =)

?珊瑚海 - 周杰伦

Friday, November 02, 2007

Fri, 02 Nov 2007 15:48:38 GMT

突然改变这么大...

感觉好像不正常...

不过...

会不会是我又想的太多了吗?

你说你能听的懂.

但是你真的能听的懂吗?

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 12:52:25 GMT

听了一天音乐...

我也没有莎士比亚的写作文的天分...

只好用别人写的歌词形容我的心情...

but they don't describe it accurately...

******

超过了友情, 还不到爱情...
i don't think that we've actually gone past that; not mentally anyway. some people may beg to differ given the circumstances though...

当友情两字不足形容我情感
don't get me wrong, it's because i don't know how to describe it AT ALL.

他也对我说 "你说我像一个小孩..."
i know i say that, but that has nothing to do with naivety... chances are i've already been decrypted...

...但是不用我说他就明白.
though i hope i'm not being as thoroughly understood as i think i am...

我好像掉进爱情悬崖.
but it's far from love.

每一次想开口但不如保持安静...
so many times, i wanted to say how i REALLY felt and stop lying.

******

哈哈. 周杰伦好可笑...

"你这是玩的什么东西呀?"
"扯瞵啊."
"扯瞵?"
"mmm."
"怎么声音好像不大对啊..."
"什么声音"
"我说你讲话的声音啊!"

?扯 - 周杰伦

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Thu, 25 Oct 2007 10:07:45 GMT

~~... and i hate to say it, but i think this one has finally been pushed to its limits.~~

maybe i was mistaken.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 03:59:17 GMT

at times where you're really busy and feel like all your responsibilities are looming over you, ready to engulf you in a few weeks because you haven't tended to them, the best thing to do is stop and drop.

worse still, the feeling of being all alone in a house that seemed a lot smaller with everyone else around compounds on the distress of having so much to do...

i've been spending some quality time with my piano these days, seems to help relieve some of the stress over the past few days. i <3 gangqinpu.com

***

i feel like a moth around a fire.

there is a constant cOmPuLsIoN to get closer...

although I KNOW if i get any closer than i already am...

...which is already a lot closer than i should be in the first place,

i'm going to get burnt.

?nbsp;暗号 - 周杰伦

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 14:11:15 GMT

why can't we all just do that to our own "wu zun's" in our lives whenever we feel like it...

i mean she's pretending to be a guy, and still she gets away with doing it coz he know's she's a girl and is slowly falling for her.

how convenient for ella...

i guess this is why people escape to drama series when they want to dream a little.

like thinking about how our life would turn out if we could write our own lives like a tv series.

or if everything was as simple as hana kimi, and all complicated things solve themselves eventually because people have good intentions...

******

so much stuff to do! so little time to do it!

if only haily didn't take up 2 of my precious hours doing his MASTERING PHYSICS!

hehe jk

played ddr today... again XDXD i could feel the lactic acid building in my legs during final stage when we were playing so deep maybe trying to pass that when i failed it 10 times before isn't such a good idea xD

calc quiz on monday... hopefully i won't be hung over from sunday night...

CAN'T WAIT TILL SUNDAY MWAHAHAHAHA!

okay.

i'm good =)

******

i think the novelty of the whole situation where i go all "gaga" is wearing off a little...

feels more and more out of reach.

funny that, since i've been telling myself i'm not reaching for anything.

i can now start to see the end of this... hindrance...

...although the smiles still have the same effect...

maybe there's a reason why i like this song.

?西界 - 林俊杰

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Tue, 21 Aug 2007 10:16:54 GMT

and to think i was planning to wake up at 6.30am... slept at 5.00am last night

******

woke up at 9.30 this morning missed a stat lecture, mblg lecture and chem tut got to uni just in time for the 11am stat lecture hehe, i thought there were already people we knew inside the lecture so i spent a while looking for people i knew when there turned out to be no one and i was ACTUALLY supposed to be the one to get a seat so by the time brendan got back, all the seats were taken and we had to sit right at the front hahaha... as usual, michael gab and derek came late

went to phys after maths, then met up with people playing magic cards (again) at wentworth. haily said he was meeting up with his friend ian again at market city so since i had nothing better to do, i went with him (coz i knew they were gonna play ddr ).

while we caught the bus, i chatted to haily about yesterday's incident (lol i can't believe how slow some people are... not mentioning any names of course... SERIOUSLY i'm not! ) anyway, we met ian at galaxy at market city and of course, first thing we did... was like 5-6 games of ddr i knew i got tired REALLY easily so i made the guys play like 2 songs and let me play the last song all the time this way i can even play the harder songs okay (i mean without fully dying and sweating). i actually did okay on V for extreme coz usually i don't combo much for that song, i always screw it up and max combo is usually like 50 i think i got over 100 this time which is a lot for me for this song coz i'm like crap and have crap timing omg haily actually finished exotic ethnic i'm like WOW how do you do the crossovers and turns and all those hard steps, coz with me i don't find voltage or stream hard, just the weird steps =\ okay i'll stop blabbering about ddr, not that anyone would bother to finish reading this paragraph unless they still play ddr

so after about an hour of ddr, we went to play daytona where i got owned as usual hehe... there was this new place at galaxy with a table where you throw tokens on it and you get prizes depending on what colour your token lands on. ian decided to try it, and wasted $2 on like 2 chuppa chupps (that reminds me, they are still in my bag... let's eat them now )

after galaxy we went downstairs to the fully asian iga supermarket coz haily wanted a cheap drink and i wanted some cheap icecream so i bought like these 4 pack of cornetto thingos which were on sale for like 5 bux and we could like split it... we sat down near the chinatown entrance to market city to eat and then we realised that the icecream was on sale for a reason the cone bit of it was totally soggy and the icecream was really really really soft =\

haily wanted to go back to uni to go to his 4pm mblg lecture so i went with him since i missed the one in the morning haha XD but i didn't end up paying attention in the lecture at all coz we sat all the way up the back and i kept talking (i think i saw a few people give me dirties for talking so much, funny how for once i'm the "annoying girl" who doesn't shut up during a quiet lecture where everyone wants to concentrate )

about 40 minutes into the lecture, derek sms's me telling me they are going to redfern and since i had nothing better to do, i ditched haily at mblg and met derek, tim, brendan and his friend who's name i forgot =\ saw michael wai all lost on the way to redfern haha

trained it with tim and brendan to eastwood coz i had to buy groceries and make dinner... (again), walked home with groceries, made satay pork (coz i forgot to buy chicken ) and veges, tasted pretty damn good for something i whipped up myself

i'm pretty sure i was going to say something else here but i forgot...

******

hmm.

it's still not going away.

it's dangerous because

it sneaks up on you quietly.

maybe

it grows a little with every glance.

every smile.

?down - 林俊杰

Friday, August 17, 2007

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 09:06:12 GMT

yes. now i am known as a "chem hacker". yes it was me who "hacked" the lecturers computer today. yes it was the first time i went to a full chem lecture since week one. no, i wasn't trying to find a file called "chem1109 2007 paper" in his computer, i didn't even connect with it at all, but at least it lightened up the class =) here's what happened.

joseph was playing this bobble game on his phone and i asked him to send to me. while i was turning on my bluetooth, i saw a device called "chris ling's computer" and i thought it would be secure anyway but curiosity got the better of me and i pressed "connect". suddenly as he was explaining and pointing at something on one of his slides, the slideshow suddenly disappears and the screen blanks out to the desktop... at that stage i was thinking "OH SHIT..." yes... and for those of you (not many i assume) who were at the chem1109 lecture, u know the rest XD

at least the chem wasn't as boring as i thought it would be

******

i don't know what i want anymore.

i know i should just stop talking and thinking about it.

because this is simply a

?不能说的秘密 - 周杰伦

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 08:23:05 GMT

i hate transference.

because nothing makes sense.

?岚 - tank